Wedding planning can be daunting in general but what if your wedding isn’t what the “mainstream wedding industry” is pushing ? It’s even more of a hurdle because not only do you still have to plan the whole thing but you have to find content, advice and guides that actually resonate with you. It’d be nice if there was an alternative option, right? Fortunately Kim Olsen thought so too! She authored “Your Wedding, Your Way”. A wedding planning book for all “non-traditional” weddings including. elopements, micro wedding and a whole lot more. We had the honor of interviewing Kim . Take a look at what she had to say:

1) Can you introduce yourself & let us know how you got involved in the wedding industry?

“I got involved in the wedding industry in a very roundabout way. First and foremost, I’m a writer. I have a masters degree in nonfiction writing from the University of Pittsburgh, as writing was something I always loved and wanted to pursue professionally.

The wedding connection all started with my now-business partner, Scott Shaw. I met him in the summer of 2018 when I was working as an editor at Washingtonian magazine in (DC. I’d written an article about the opening of one of his businesses (he’s an entrepreneur and owns a number of restaurants and coworking spaces). When we met over drinks, he asked about my background in writing, and then shared that he’d written a book about eloping, back in 2001. This struck me as odd at first, but knowing that he’s an entrepreneur, didn’t seem too crazy. Turns out he had wanted to elope in the late ‘90s and couldn’t find a book on how to do it at Barnes & Noble, so he wrote one called Let’s Elope, which was published in 2001 (meanwhile, I’m graduating high school and preparing for college, ha!).

Around the time I met Scott, I’d been seeing elopement photos sprinkled around Instagram, but at that time they were still largely on the rebel fringes of the wedding industry as a whole. But I could tell something cool was happening there, that couples were starting to not only reject the big wedding ideal, but turning it on its head and doing it their own way. Which didn’t necessarily look like the classic Vegas elopement anymore. “

Photography by Renée C. Gage Photography

2) Eloping and unique weddings has been a priority and passion of yours. Can you elaborate more about why that is.

“There’s something intriguing about eloping—it’s sort of the underbelly of the wedding industry, and people always like getting a peek at anything mysterious like that. I definitely did. Hearing about Scott’s book started a cascade of ideas in my head, and I immediately bought a copy of it off Amazon. Every Sunday for the rest of that summer, I took the book to the local pool with a stack of color-coded Post-It notes (I was still working full-time at Washingtonian then, so Sundays were my free time to dedicate to elopement research).

And to be honest, I never really wanted a big, traditional wedding, ever since I was a little girl. I really don’t like being the center of attention (I’m a writer!) and the idea of selecting bridesmaids and having them endure months of group texts about my wedding sounds, quite frankly, terrible. Suffice it to say, the idea of eloping naturally fits in my wheelhouse. But I’ve always found the wedding industry as a whole to be quite fascinating—it’s this whole ecosystem of vendors and planning and family dynamics that’s layered with stress and hinging on money and time. It’s an entire year of energy buzzing toward one day. And then boom—pure magic. Plus, the whole industry is so homegrown and largely spearheaded by entrepreneurial women, too. That’s pretty cool.

Bottom line: I love going to weddings. I always cry. I just knew there was a way to better acknowledge and cater to this rising sector of marrying folks who didn’t want to be pushed into any old mold, and I just felt that in some way, I wanted to make this whole concept of eloping more achievable for both couples and vendors. In general, anything outside of the mainstream has the potential to be cool, and eloping is very cool. I wanted to harness that elopement coolness and put it closer to the forefront of the industry.”

3) For those who are unfamiliar, can you explain the difference between an elopement, micro wedding , small wedding or any other way you would categorize?

“Like so much of the wedding industry, these terms are made up as we go—and that’s part of the beauty of it for sure. It certainly allowed me to define “elopement” in the intro for my book as an umbrella term meaning anything nontraditional, not just running off to Bali. A tidier answer is this: an elopement has no more than 8-10 people total; a microwedding is less than 25; and a small wedding is less than 50. “

4) You have created an amazing resource for clients to plan their elopement and be inspired via Art of Eloping. Can you let us know more about AoE ? ( what is there, who it's designed for & anything else)

“At its core, Art of Eloping is a website meant to inspire couples to elope or go small. Not only is it geared toward couples wishing to do just this, but it also highlights vendors who specialize in elopements. When I was building the website, I heard from so many elopement vendors that there was no platform on which to promote their work. And when I started working on the site in 2019, nothing like it existed, outside of Wandering Weddings, which does a fantastic job of promoting adventure elopement photographers en masse. I was looking to broaden my website to elopement vendors whose skill sets included not only shooting elopements on mountaintops, but those who can nail the lighting at city hall and in back yards at dusk.

The site went live on Valentine’s Day 2020. Then … the pandemic hit. I had intended on seeking out listings in order to create a business. But there was no way I could morally do that when so many vendors had just lost their income for the foreseeable future. I guess I’m not super capitalistic in that regard. So to be honest, I’m still tweaking the business model, and am really just re-focusing on strong editorial content for both couples and vendors, featuring helpful information that’s lost on bigger sites. When you email the info account, you’re getting me. And that’s how I hope to keep it—niche to eloping, and accessible to everyone. “

5) Along with AoE you have quite a milestone you just reached - a book ! Tell us more about this must-read. ( What is it , who is it for, how its laid out etc)

“To make this easy (and accurate, ha) here’s the synopsis straight from my publisher, Chronicle Books:

Your Wedding, Your Way: Destination Elopements, Intimate Ceremonies, and Other Non-traditional Nuptials is an in-depth and one-of-a-kind resource for modern couples. Unique to market, there is no book dedicated to nontraditional weddings that is nearly as thorough as this one.

There are so many ways to get married that don't require an inflated budget, months of stressful planning, and a bunch of hoopla that makes you wonder, "Why am I even having a wedding?" Your Wedding, Your Way is a one-stop resource for modern couples filled with practical advice and helpful how-tos on planning your big day your way, plus charming true stories from couples who did it themselves.

Whether you're envisioning an intimate vow exchange, a romantic road trip, a quick ceremony at the courthouse, or something altogether your own, this useful handbook will both inspire you and help you to plan a one-of-a-kind wedding celebration on your own terms.

Perfect for:

• Couples who are interested in having a nontraditional wedding

• Millennial and Gen-Z couples who want an intimate celebration that doesn't drain the bank

• LGBTQ+ couples

• Those who have been married before/are celebrating a second wedding or vow renewal

• Modern couples who prefer experiences over things “

6) What inspired you to write this book?

“A large part of it was the belief that we needed an actual, tangible thing to explain how to elope. Nothing had been written on the topic since Scott’s book in 2001. There was a lot of fragmented information online, but knowing how important planning is—whether it’s for a 300-person wedding or a two-person elopement—I just knew couples would need a de facto guide to tell them how to do it. Reddit pretty much confirmed that!”

7) What do you hope will come to those who have the opportunity to read it?

“I hope that it gives couples the spark of inspiration to explore ideas other than the traditional wedding. Some couples do have that feeling in their gut that tells them they really don’t want something big, but get pulled into the pressures of their family and society and just go along with it, dreading the planning process and just waiting for it to be over so they can go on their honeymoon. I want my book to be the nudge that gives them the confidence to move forward with an elopement or something small and nontraditional that is meaningful to them and a reflection of their love and values, not what society tells them is normal. “

8) Why do you think it's important for society to recognize elopements as equivalently valuable ?

“Society” is a big word, and I do think the mainstream is coming around to the virtues of eloping due to the pandemic (hello, money saved), and hearing from so many couples who were ultimately extremely relieved to be able to cancel their big weddings and get married their way.

I think it’s important for family members to recognize elopements as equivalent to something more traditional. Family can sometimes feel hurt, and for very understandable reasons, when couples elope. For some, they have the belief that eloping is secretive and selfish. And historically it was secretive—back in the 1500s, couples eloped to escape arranged marriages (à la Romeo and Juliet). While couples today still elope in secret, it’s for very different reasons.

But also, when our parents and grandparents were getting married, weddings used to be modest and small, unless you were royalty or belonged to high society. The idea of a 150-person wedding with a seated dinner and a first dance is a very modern development.

Weddings as a multi-billion dollar industry—an industry worth more than the combined revenue of the NFL, NBA, NHL, and MBA—didn’t really start to take off until 1990, when Martha Stewart launched Martha Stewart Weddings. That laid the foundation for the astounding level of details you see in wedding planning today. (Fun fact: Her daughter eloped at a courthouse.) “

9) Any advice for those wanting to plan an elopement or microwedding?

Do it!
Pick a date first. Then find a location or venue. There are so many venues in great destinations that have fabulous elopement packages now (Big Sur, Lake Tahoe, Scotland, and Paris, for example).
If you’re looking to elope abroad, get legally married at home first—there are some tricky legal requirements and waiting periods when seeking a legal ceremony abroad. Do yourselves a favor and get the paperwork over with, then do a symbolic ceremony in your dream destination.
As soon as you find a date and destination, hire a photographer who has experience doing elopements.
Do not—do not—announce the elopement on social media before telling important loved ones that it happened, whether it’s before you elope or after.
That said, if you want to invite a handful of loved ones, it can be tough to trim the guest list. The best way is to think about those who you text first when you get good news (or bad). Who will be there in the long run?
Don’t worry about others’ expectations for your wedding. It’s about a marriage, not a day. As my landlord—who got married in a law office above a Chipotle—puts it, “It’s about the love, not the fluff.”

10) Anything else you would like to add?

“Cheers to eloping, and to celebrating it your way!”

I want to thank Kim so much for taking the time to do this interview and I hope that you all take a look for her book. As always check out your local book store first and foremost but there’s also always Amazon. We hope that you enjoy and this makes your wedding planning process a bit more enjoyable.

Photography by Renée C. Gage Photography

Your Wedding, Your Way

The Stylist Abroad